"The opportunities for enjoyment in your life are
limitless. If you feel you are not experiencing enough joy, you have only yourself to
blame"
David Bresler
A few years ago, I left France because my intuition told me that I wouldn't find what I wanted there. I found my life partner in Australia. I found bits of wisdom everywhere I travelled. I found more than I thought was here for me. That taught me an important lesson. Somewhere out there, there is something exactly for you. Everything we need, or we need to know is there! It may not be easy to find, but it is there, somewhere!
When we go for dinner, there's a menu. In life, there's no menu. We're told little about what's available. The world stands there, waiting to be explored. We can find out what's available and whether we like it by new experiences and exploring the unknown. We're unlikely to find out much by sitting around. Yet that's what many of us do, sitting around waiting for the menu, for some miracle that will make our lives more exciting. Isn't it strange?
Life is not a dinner, life is a banquet. There are many dishes available. Often, all we need to do is reach out for them. Few of us bother. Many of us stop looking too early. After discovering something we like, we're tempted to conclude "This is it!" That could be money, sex, food, work, love, travelling, people, religion, play, shopping, sports, looking good, books, movies, painting, theatre, high-tech gadgets, music, learning, excitement, art, cars, games, computers ... Some of us focus mainly on one thing. Is this enjoying the choice at the banquet? This is like filling up ourselves with one dish, overlooking the others. Have you tested enough dishes to feel confident you get the most out of life? Are you sure?
The assumption "This is it" can be harmful. Some of us think we can't be happy until we have "it". We're unhappy since we can't have enough luxuries, holidays or power. We let this prevent us from enjoying everything else. Come on! Wake up! We can be happy without having "it". We can look for something else! Ever had a broken heart? An effective way to recover is to look forward to something else. At a banquet, we don't spend our time staring at the empty dishes. Why would we do that in life?
"Try everything once except incest and folk-dancing."
Thomas Beecham
Finding out what's available could involve exploring the unknown. Many of us are afraid of the unknown. We're much less comfortable outside our homes. The discomfort and awkwardness of new experiences disturbs and scares us. Yet we live in a world where much of what's available is good. Nowadays, few activities are really dangerous, but many remain scary because we haven't tried them, whether it's travelling in the poorer countries or diving. It's no surprise that people who are the most scared of motorbikes are the ones who have never touched one. We have to conquer our fears before we try. If we never try, we might miss out on what we really need! What if we don't like what we try? No big deal!At least we know we don't like it. We've learned something. At a banquet, do you starve because you're scared the dishes are poisoned?
Try with an open mind. We normally need to experience and feel something before we know
whether we like it, whether it's hang-gliding, painting, sailing, acting, using computers,
travelling ... That's hard to believe when you consider the attitudes of many of us:
"I don't like wind surfing and I haven't even tried it!"
"I tried to use a computer once, the machine wouldn't work. I don't want to hear
about computers any more!"
"Golf is such a ridiculous sport!"
"I can't stand cycling, I wouldn't even bother trying."
"I don't like all these foreign foods ..."
We sometimes decide we don't like something without having tried it.
Have you tried enough curries to know you don't like spicy food? Really?
Often our choices are restricted by our parental expectations or our cultural bias. It can be scary to ride a motorbike after what our parents told us. It takes courage to go to, say Indonesia, just to find out if we like it there. Yet we might find the loving community we've been looking for! Some of us don't get what we need not because we can't have it, but because we haven't asked for it or looked for it. We can only choose from what we know. The more we know about what's available, the more we can choose from. If you've never tried wind surfing, it's unlikely you will get up on a Sunday morning and say, "Let's go wind-surfing!" If you've always been on vacation in your own country, you probably still don't know that some people from Strangeville may have a wider smile and contagious enthusiasm. Usually, there's no substitute for experience, whether it's skiing or acting. It's unlikely that the right stuff for us will reveal itself in front of us. At a banquet, do you sit around where the entrees are, and stay there safely until the end? Or do you get up and look for the mains and desserts?
END OF CHAPTER